Catch-19

Just got done watching John Quinones on ABC’s “What Would You Do?”

There were two interesting segments. In both actors were playing assholes verbally abusing people. One was a Down’s Syndrome kid bagging groceries the other a same sex couple and their kids.

So, it’s a cheap manipulative show  that deliberately pulls common emotional strings to make us all look like assholes then wraps it up with a few “heroes” so we can feel all better.

But you know, it’s also a fairly interesting look at certain parts of public life in the U.S.  I’ve long said that some people really do need a punch in the nose. That the move away from a society where sometimes a physical act IS the answer is not altogether a plus. Yes, it’s mostly a good move. I like the fact that the strongest and most physically able can no longer decide to be judge and jury and then enact the penalty. It insures that everyone has the ability to speak their minds, not just those in the majority. But there are drawbacks. Like the fact that we have come to believe that our words have no consequences.

People say the most amazing things, knowing that nothing is going to happen to them. 50 years ago if you berated a kid with down’s syndrome bagging in a grocery store you might get the shit beat out of you. No, that kid wouldn’t be bagging 50 years ago. I don’t want to go back in time, I’m aware just how awful “the good old days” were.

I’d just like for people to stop and ask themselves “Is this something a lot of people would want to punch me for?” And if the answer is yes, then ask ” Is this something I need to say in that case?” And if that answer is yes, then rock on! And then, if you turn out to be an asshole anyway, I like to see a few face punches.

Is that too much to ask?

And watching the show I did wonder, what would I do in that situation. In truth I’d mostly keep my mouth shut I think. There was no threats of violence or physical harm in any way. I’m not, by nature, very confrontational. So yeah, I’d probably do nothing and later wish I’d said something. Because those people needed to be told to shut the fuck up. In a perfect world everyone in earshot would have raised their voices to drown them out and make sure the targets of abuse knew they had support. I don’t think I would have done that. Because, like most people said when interviewed, it’s not my problem and I don’t want to get involved.

I don’t know if the show does any good. But I do hope that the next time I find myself in a situation where someone nis acting like an asshole I at least think about what my reaction should be. Maybe I’ll do the right thing.

We bought a car recently. A new 2010 Toyota Venza. We really didn’t plan on doing that, but my venerable and ancient Ford Explorer finally gave up the ghost and we had to replace it with something and this is what we got. Great car, BTW.

But one of the results is that we have much less disposable income. This has actually tunred out to be a good thing. We’ve chopped out a lot of expenses that should have been canceled ages ago, we’ve stopped going out to eat except for twice a week, and because we’re cooking most days, out diet has improved dramatically.

But we are still looking for ways to cut costs. After a few weeks of keeping strict eye on what we spend, it became clear that we spent a lot on bottled sparkling water. Specifically Poland Springs Plain and Poland Springs Lime. Yum. But at $1.40 a liter, and me drinking more than 1.5 liters a day, it was getting to be too much. The solution was either drink plain filtered water (BOO!) or find something cheaper. So I found the Sodastream!

And so far so good! The unit is not high end, made of plastic mostly. But I got the cheapest one and expected as much. That said, it doesn’t feel cheap or flimsy. The bottles that come with the unit screw in securely and fairly easily. The design isn’t perfect and can be a bit difficult to screw in with one hand while holding the lever with the other, but you get the hang of it quickly.

The carbonation is perfect, you can make it as fizzy or flat as you want. The instruction say 3 pushes for a standard level of carbonation, but I’ve found I need 5. That means my cost per liter is a little higher, but still under 50 cents. And the fizz lasts. I drink what I make fairly fast, so I can’t say how long it holds it’s fizz, but certainly it has held for 24 hours with very little difference.

The flavor of the water is exactly what I was looking for, and Rowen says the lemon lime flavor was the equal of sprite or 7up. I felt the lemon lime wasn’t quite as good, but still quite delicious. But I don’t plan on drinking sodas from it anyway, just the very lightly flavored waters. And the water flavors are great so far. And I love that I can put as much as I want. I prefer a very lightly flavor, and so the flavors last longer. I haven’t tried any of the other soda flavors, but I’ll looking forward to it.

The biggest drawback was that I needed a few extra bottles. It comes with a pair of 1 liter bottles and I just ordered another pair.

It’s really a success for us. In just over a week it’s entered into heavy daily use.

The weight loss has slowed down a bit, but I expected that. It’s not possible to lose almost a pound a day and stay healthy. I’m currently at 260 and I suspect I wont break 255 for maybe 10 days. The new goal is 230 by my birthday, July 8.

But what’s been surprising is the things that have come with the weight loss. An obvious one but one I didn’t think of is no more pain in my ankles. I wasn’t exactly hobbling, but they were giving me some trouble. Now that’s gone. Next is my skin. I have always had bad skin, I still have bad skin, I will always have bad skin. But! not as bad. I attribute that more to my improved diet than the weight. Also, I think my brain is working better. I feel like my memory is sharper, and my thinking clearer. That might just be the result of having a better outlook in general, but my gut says that it’s in part due to better health. And the TMI portion of this post: my bowels are more regular, and I fart much less.

Glad you kept reading?

The sad news is that the Dems no longer have a “super majority”, just a plain ole majority.  Not they were using the super majority anyway. All that power in the hands of people who, by the very fact of their profession can be identified as power hungry, and they have yet to get off the pot and do something game changing. And it really didn’t look like they were going to do so anytime soon, so I really can’t blame the Repubs for saying “Hey, you playing with that? No? Then I’ll just take it.”

What bugs me is that a lot of the criticism of the campaign seems to be spot on. Democrats in MA acted as though they owned that seat for ever more. Martha Coakley couldn’t even keep straight the names of major ball players (I believe it was the Australian Rules Rugby champ she misnamed?). That’s bush league shit, and in Massachusetts? It just really showed a lack of effort.

But I do see a sort of silver lining. The whole debacle points to one thing about the Democrats that I sort of like. Or not ‘like’ but respect, and think is important to preserve. That is that they don’t walk in lock step with the leadership. it doesn’t make them honest, but at least they are a more independent. And I think that’s a good thing, in the long run.

On the other hand: You Blew It!

I was just reading older posts looking for one that described how I measure my weight and got to reading this one: Weigh In.

The bad news is that I went back up to 300 lbs after that. The good news is that it’s been coming down in the last 5 months. And since the 1st of the year I’m down 10 lbs to 275 lbs.

How I did it is the most basic formula for weight loss. Move more, eat less, burn more calories than you eat. I’ve started taking Taekwando classes 3-4 times a week and getting on the recumbent exercise bike for 45 minutes 5-7 times a week. And probably most significantly, I’ve drastically controlled my eating.

The eating is the hardest part. Now I have one slice of bread with a low calorie yogurt based spread for breakfast with a cup of decaf (artificial sweetener, but I’m cutting down on that too) - 165 calories. Lunch is 2.5 oz. of tuna mixed with 2 tsp of salsa (all natural, really good stuff, Green Mountain Gringo) and 4 tortilla chips - 190 calories. Now even if I add some fudge room to those numbers I’m under 400 calories for breakfast and lunch combined. For dinner I have whatever I cooked. I’m cooking fairly healthy, but I know I can do better. The key at dinner is that I use a tiny plate and don’t fill it. And I eat only a tiny portion of ice or potatoes, probably the size of a matchbox, the rest being vegetables and meat. And I have a salad before every dinner with 2 tsp of low fat vinaigrette dressing. I don’t have a good way to gauge the calorie count for dinner, but I don’t think it’s more than 1000. So for the day, I’m under 1500 calories, at least. I really think I’m closer to 1200. But that’s just week days. And I forgot about my treat. In order to curb cravings for candy and chips and chocolate, I get a single piece of See’s Candy chocolate at the end of the day, they run anywhere from 50 - 120 calories. And I usually have a piece of fruit and some carrots, too.  So lets call it an even 1500.

And it’s working. 10 lbs in19 days. I don’t think I can keep that rate up for more than a month or two. It will slow down, but I’m ready for that. I think I can achieve an average weight lose of 2 lbs a week from now until June 1st. If I do that I’ll have dropped an additional 38 lbs, putting me at 237 lbs. Damn near to my goal of 220.

The key for me is not getting off track. I do this regularly where I get something good going, one little bump in the road derails me and I never get back on. The last time it was a cold. I got sick for a week or two and never went back to exercising. Don’t know how I’m going to combat that. I think this time I’ll keep exercising, no matter the circumstances. Even if it’s a feeble slow crawl on the bike, if I stay in the routine of getting on it every day I think that will help.

And back to what started this post, the way I measure my weight: I weigh myself everyday, when I’ve been at or below a particular 5 lb weight range for 7 days, I consider myself to have achieved that weight. So for instance. I got down to 275 on the 1/12 and stayed at or below there until the 1/18, so I now weigh 275.

Wish me luck for today. I believe I’ll be at 270.

Some folks asked on twitter and facebook for this recipe, so here it is:

(for slowcooker/crockpot)

15 oz (1 can) pinto beans, rinsed and drained

15 oz (1 can) black beans, rinsed and drained

15 oz (1 can) chili beans in spicy sauce, not drained

15 oz (1 can) mexican/chili style diced tomatoes, not drained

1 lrg green bell pepper, diced

1 sm onion, diced

1/2 cup broth, any kind

1/4 cup mole paste (find it in mexican food section, or international grocery type place, not terribly hard to  find, but you might have to search)

2 tsp ground cumin

2 tsp ground coriander

2 tsp chili powder

2 tsp minced garlic

Dump everything in a crockpot and cook on low for 5-6 hrs or high 1-2 hrs.

Serve with shredded cheese over top, maybe some tortilla chips.

Enjoy

I’m certain that smarter people than me have made this analogy ages ago, but it just occurred to me and I don’t recall seeing it, so here goes:

War On Terror era “Terrorism” = Cold War era “Communism”

That fits, doesn’t it? A big bogey man we can blame our troubles on, use to justify diminished civil rights, keep our defense budget bloated beyond all reasonable levels, and have as a handy excuse when we want to invade somewhere.

They tried using “Drugs” as the new “Communism” for a while, but it wasn’t as successful. I think they didn’t try hard enough.

I hope they can come up with some catchy slogans like “Better dead than red!” and “Kill a commie for mommy!”

I meant to add the reason I was thinking about this, but I forgot what it was. But at this rate everything makes me think about it. When I’m not looking at porn, I mean.

Mia is in China and we were bored, so I took Rowen to see Whip-it today.

It’s not a new story: teenage girl floundering in life finds what she wants and has to defy parents to achieve it, and once they see her happiness they come around. But I like tried and true stories. There’s a reason they get told a hundred thousand times. This movie does justice to the story. it’s not the best version, and it wont be a classic, but it did the job.

What really makes it a good movie is the cast. I imagine every girl from about age 14 to 22 wants to be Ellen Page. I’m not gonna lie, I kinda want to be her too. She’s perfected the quirky undaunted plucky girl heroine roll. She’s like an chick from a webcomic. The rest of the cast is excellent, too. How far wrong can you go with hot chicks dressed up as roller-derby girls?

I was wondering if Rowen should see this. It’s rated PG-13. But after seeing it, I’m fine with it. The only problematic scene is a swimming/making out session that makes it to panty and bra for a short time. But so what? The two characters are in love, there’s no violence or coercion. It’s a cute little scene.

In my head, I believe that it’s better for her to see two people having sex than two people killing each other. In practice I don’t follow that much. But I’m trying. In truth, I don’t think either is particularly damaging.

So, take yer kids, especially girls to see this. It’s got a good message and it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Rowen even said she wants to get the DVD. High praise from her.

I turned 40 this year.

Wasn’t really a momentous occasion. I don’t feel any older than I did a year or 2 or 5 ago. No big changes. So not really much to mark the passing. That’s probably not a bad thing.

But then I read this post (My Life Is Good) by John Scalzi. He say, in part and very roughly, that at at 40 you are probably who you are going to b for the rest of your life. Things aren’t likely to change in very major ways, is the gist of it. And I think he’s right. I think most of us are all set.

Yeah… but I don’t wanna. I haven’t done what I want to do. I’m not who I want to be. I’m not terribly far from it, but there are major pieces missing. The big one is teaching. I’ve been talking about it for 10 years, making sporadic and desultory moves towards it, but I’ve never committed. I’m good at talking about doing things and researching those things. That’s not a talent to cultivate.

Then today at the test for my yellow belt in Taekwondo my instructor was basically saying “It’s NOT too late. You can choose new paths and ways of living. It’s not easy, but the hard things are what makes life worth it.” He’s also right.

The truth is that most people are set by 40 or so. And it’s a good thing by and large. Knowing the direction of your life is comforting and gives you room to make it a good one. But the opportunity for major shifts always exists. You CAN choose differently.

So I have to do that. I’m 40. I’ve got time left.

What I need to do now is enroll in school to get my masters in education so I can become a full time teacher. I’m going to do that.

Rowen, my daughter was born on Aug. 3rd, 1998. My wife went into labor and we eventually went to the hospital where things progressed normally. Until they didn’t. At some point, the fetal monitor indicated that my daughter was in fetal distress. Her heart was stopping during the contractions.

I’m not sure what I felt when our doctor said that. I was scared, but mostly confused. Clearly that was a bad thing, but how bad? I really didn’t know. And a big part of me wanted to think “Oh that probably happens all the time, I’m sure it’s a routine fix.” It wasn’t.

Once they found out that her heart was stopping, a whirlwind of activity occurred, none of which I was involved in. A well oiled team of doctors and nurses prepared her and rushed her out of the room, with me following behind. Until I got the operating room doors where I was left outside. That was the point when I really started panicking. I alternated between believing the worst, that both my wife and daughter were going to die, to desperately trying to believe everything was going to be alright.

It was the single scariest moment of my life. Incoming mortar fire in Iraq does not compare. Having a pistol pulled on me does not compare. Jail in Juarez Mexico does not compare. I was helpless and afraid.

They performed an emergency c-section. Rowen’s heart was beating but her platelet count was critically low. They immediately infused her with platelets. Over time she had to receive 5 or 6 more infusions.

She’s fine now. She just bruises easy, so I get to have a very special talk with all her teachers and nurse about how she might sometimes look like “Daddy got angry” but no no, it’s just a slightly low platelet count. She had something called ITP, Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura (though technically, she never had the Purpura part). She’s free of it now and her platelet count is in the normal range, the bottom of that rangte, but still normal.

Her life was saved because those platelets were available. They were available because someone spent the time to donate them. Someone, several someones actually, saved my daughters life. And who knows how many more lives.

So, if you read this, I’m asking you to make an appointment at the Red Cross for apheresis donation. Apheresis is the process by which platelets are collected. And it’s a pain in the butt. You have to hang out at the donation center for about 2 hours. The blood is removed, the platelets and plasma are removed, then the blood is returned to you. Most places have TVs set up playing movies. I’m asking you to do this at least once, because someone did this for us, and it made a difference.

I donated regularly in MA, but I’ve been lax since we moved. I just scheduled my first appointment here.

You can find some basic info about apheresis here: http://www.givelife2.org/donor/apheresis.asp . You will have to call 1-800-GIVE-LIFE (1-800-4483-5433) to schedule an appointment.