Catch-19

Just got done watching John Quinones on ABC’s “What Would You Do?”

There were two interesting segments. In both actors were playing assholes verbally abusing people. One was a Down’s Syndrome kid bagging groceries the other a same sex couple and their kids.

So, it’s a cheap manipulative show  that deliberately pulls common emotional strings to make us all look like assholes then wraps it up with a few “heroes” so we can feel all better.

But you know, it’s also a fairly interesting look at certain parts of public life in the U.S.  I’ve long said that some people really do need a punch in the nose. That the move away from a society where sometimes a physical act IS the answer is not altogether a plus. Yes, it’s mostly a good move. I like the fact that the strongest and most physically able can no longer decide to be judge and jury and then enact the penalty. It insures that everyone has the ability to speak their minds, not just those in the majority. But there are drawbacks. Like the fact that we have come to believe that our words have no consequences.

People say the most amazing things, knowing that nothing is going to happen to them. 50 years ago if you berated a kid with down’s syndrome bagging in a grocery store you might get the shit beat out of you. No, that kid wouldn’t be bagging 50 years ago. I don’t want to go back in time, I’m aware just how awful “the good old days” were.

I’d just like for people to stop and ask themselves “Is this something a lot of people would want to punch me for?” And if the answer is yes, then ask ” Is this something I need to say in that case?” And if that answer is yes, then rock on! And then, if you turn out to be an asshole anyway, I like to see a few face punches.

Is that too much to ask?

And watching the show I did wonder, what would I do in that situation. In truth I’d mostly keep my mouth shut I think. There was no threats of violence or physical harm in any way. I’m not, by nature, very confrontational. So yeah, I’d probably do nothing and later wish I’d said something. Because those people needed to be told to shut the fuck up. In a perfect world everyone in earshot would have raised their voices to drown them out and make sure the targets of abuse knew they had support. I don’t think I would have done that. Because, like most people said when interviewed, it’s not my problem and I don’t want to get involved.

I don’t know if the show does any good. But I do hope that the next time I find myself in a situation where someone nis acting like an asshole I at least think about what my reaction should be. Maybe I’ll do the right thing.

We bought a car recently. A new 2010 Toyota Venza. We really didn’t plan on doing that, but my venerable and ancient Ford Explorer finally gave up the ghost and we had to replace it with something and this is what we got. Great car, BTW.

But one of the results is that we have much less disposable income. This has actually tunred out to be a good thing. We’ve chopped out a lot of expenses that should have been canceled ages ago, we’ve stopped going out to eat except for twice a week, and because we’re cooking most days, out diet has improved dramatically.

But we are still looking for ways to cut costs. After a few weeks of keeping strict eye on what we spend, it became clear that we spent a lot on bottled sparkling water. Specifically Poland Springs Plain and Poland Springs Lime. Yum. But at $1.40 a liter, and me drinking more than 1.5 liters a day, it was getting to be too much. The solution was either drink plain filtered water (BOO!) or find something cheaper. So I found the Sodastream!

And so far so good! The unit is not high end, made of plastic mostly. But I got the cheapest one and expected as much. That said, it doesn’t feel cheap or flimsy. The bottles that come with the unit screw in securely and fairly easily. The design isn’t perfect and can be a bit difficult to screw in with one hand while holding the lever with the other, but you get the hang of it quickly.

The carbonation is perfect, you can make it as fizzy or flat as you want. The instruction say 3 pushes for a standard level of carbonation, but I’ve found I need 5. That means my cost per liter is a little higher, but still under 50 cents. And the fizz lasts. I drink what I make fairly fast, so I can’t say how long it holds it’s fizz, but certainly it has held for 24 hours with very little difference.

The flavor of the water is exactly what I was looking for, and Rowen says the lemon lime flavor was the equal of sprite or 7up. I felt the lemon lime wasn’t quite as good, but still quite delicious. But I don’t plan on drinking sodas from it anyway, just the very lightly flavored waters. And the water flavors are great so far. And I love that I can put as much as I want. I prefer a very lightly flavor, and so the flavors last longer. I haven’t tried any of the other soda flavors, but I’ll looking forward to it.

The biggest drawback was that I needed a few extra bottles. It comes with a pair of 1 liter bottles and I just ordered another pair.

It’s really a success for us. In just over a week it’s entered into heavy daily use.

Some folks asked on twitter and facebook for this recipe, so here it is:

(for slowcooker/crockpot)

15 oz (1 can) pinto beans, rinsed and drained

15 oz (1 can) black beans, rinsed and drained

15 oz (1 can) chili beans in spicy sauce, not drained

15 oz (1 can) mexican/chili style diced tomatoes, not drained

1 lrg green bell pepper, diced

1 sm onion, diced

1/2 cup broth, any kind

1/4 cup mole paste (find it in mexican food section, or international grocery type place, not terribly hard to  find, but you might have to search)

2 tsp ground cumin

2 tsp ground coriander

2 tsp chili powder

2 tsp minced garlic

Dump everything in a crockpot and cook on low for 5-6 hrs or high 1-2 hrs.

Serve with shredded cheese over top, maybe some tortilla chips.

Enjoy

Mia is in China and we were bored, so I took Rowen to see Whip-it today.

It’s not a new story: teenage girl floundering in life finds what she wants and has to defy parents to achieve it, and once they see her happiness they come around. But I like tried and true stories. There’s a reason they get told a hundred thousand times. This movie does justice to the story. it’s not the best version, and it wont be a classic, but it did the job.

What really makes it a good movie is the cast. I imagine every girl from about age 14 to 22 wants to be Ellen Page. I’m not gonna lie, I kinda want to be her too. She’s perfected the quirky undaunted plucky girl heroine roll. She’s like an chick from a webcomic. The rest of the cast is excellent, too. How far wrong can you go with hot chicks dressed up as roller-derby girls?

I was wondering if Rowen should see this. It’s rated PG-13. But after seeing it, I’m fine with it. The only problematic scene is a swimming/making out session that makes it to panty and bra for a short time. But so what? The two characters are in love, there’s no violence or coercion. It’s a cute little scene.

In my head, I believe that it’s better for her to see two people having sex than two people killing each other. In practice I don’t follow that much. But I’m trying. In truth, I don’t think either is particularly damaging.

So, take yer kids, especially girls to see this. It’s got a good message and it’s a hell of a lot of fun. Rowen even said she wants to get the DVD. High praise from her.

I turned 40 this year.

Wasn’t really a momentous occasion. I don’t feel any older than I did a year or 2 or 5 ago. No big changes. So not really much to mark the passing. That’s probably not a bad thing.

But then I read this post (My Life Is Good) by John Scalzi. He say, in part and very roughly, that at at 40 you are probably who you are going to b for the rest of your life. Things aren’t likely to change in very major ways, is the gist of it. And I think he’s right. I think most of us are all set.

Yeah… but I don’t wanna. I haven’t done what I want to do. I’m not who I want to be. I’m not terribly far from it, but there are major pieces missing. The big one is teaching. I’ve been talking about it for 10 years, making sporadic and desultory moves towards it, but I’ve never committed. I’m good at talking about doing things and researching those things. That’s not a talent to cultivate.

Then today at the test for my yellow belt in Taekwondo my instructor was basically saying “It’s NOT too late. You can choose new paths and ways of living. It’s not easy, but the hard things are what makes life worth it.” He’s also right.

The truth is that most people are set by 40 or so. And it’s a good thing by and large. Knowing the direction of your life is comforting and gives you room to make it a good one. But the opportunity for major shifts always exists. You CAN choose differently.

So I have to do that. I’m 40. I’ve got time left.

What I need to do now is enroll in school to get my masters in education so I can become a full time teacher. I’m going to do that.

I was just feeling sorry for myself a few minutes ago. The usual stuff: fat, unattractive, unemployed, etc. But for some reason my thought took a sharp right turn to Rowen, my 10 year old daughter.

I realised that in 10 years I have never once let her go to bed without hearing me say “I love you”. Even those times when she was busy screaming that she hated me, I made sure she heard me say that. And even those times when I had my doubts about whether it was true (usually those same nights she was screaming that she hated me) I said it and made sure she heard it.

It’s a fairly small thing in the great scope of life. She wont cure cancer because of it. And not hearing it wouldn’t have turned her into a psychotic serial killer who targets middle aged men with children and murders them with princess music boxes while wearing frilly dresses.

But maybe when she’s older and having a bad day — the kind where the whole world has turned to shit and you are certain that nothing and no one has ever loved anything, let alone you — the memory of those “I love you”s, or even just the unconscious knowledge of them, will help her get through it.

I’m voting for Obama. I’m very happy to be doing so.

I’d have been just as happy to vote for Clinton. In fact, she was the one I was hoping would get the nomination. But I’m truely happy with Obama. For me, the choice between Obama and Clinton (actually, to go further back, Edwards was my first choice. I felt he nicely split the difference between Clinton’s tenacity and insider knowledge and Obama’s sincerity and passion) was like being asked which you would rather have, $1million or $1.1 million. Sure, given the choice I’ll choose the $1.1 million, but either one would be wonderful.

Eight years ago I had some respect and admiration for McCain. The way he spoke to the radical christian right was refreshing and reasured me that not all of the politicians on the right were willing to sink to any depths get votes. Now, I’ve lost all that respect and admiration. He’s just another right wing politician who will go to any lengths of pandering in order to get the power he so desperately craves. I’m saddened. I wouldn’t have voted for him anyway, I don’t agree with him on lots of things, but I really thought he was in government for the poeple and that his views were his own.

So, that’s it. That’s my politics post. I wont be posting much more on it. you know where to find the good blogs on the subject.

To California, for being the first state to come out of the dark ages and finally allow gay marriage.

There is only one reason to prevent gay marriage. Only one. Because you don’t believe that homosexuals deserve the same rights as straights. It’s that simple. And if that’s the case, you’re a bigot. That’s all.

I’m happy to see the couples lining up to get marriage licenses and planning their big events. The happiness (and heartache) of finding the one person to love should be celebrated by everyone. So… HURRAY!